Role-playing

Chapter Four of "A New Earth" goes deeper into the ego and the roles we take on in order to get what we want. As Tolle states, "Usually people are completely unaware of the roles they play. They are those roles. Some roles are subtle; others are blatantly obvious, except to the person playing it. Some roles are designed simply to get attention from others."

Here's a bit of what Eckhart and Oprah discussed during week four's webcast:

Tolle: If you are not present you don't realize there is a source of power within, and then you believe that you need to get secondary power from someone or some situation or other people, then the ego plays roles to manipulate the environment and other people to get what it thinks it needs - not realizing that all the things that it thinks will give it the power that it seems to lack all that is already within you...if you could only be present in the now.

Oprah: Well let's clarify what we mean by role-playing. I think it's confusing to some people who say, "well, listen, I am a doctor, I am a teacher, I am a lawyer, I am a store clerk, I am a 'that'" Those are labels, and what is the difference between the job functions that we have and roles that we play?

Tolle: I met a woman middle-aged and she talked to me in a certain way, and I asked, "Are you a school teacher?" And she said, "Now how did you know that I'm a school teacher?" [He motions a back-and-forth pointing finger to mimic what this woman did as she spoke to him.] She talks to people as if she were talking to children at school. So even when she said, "how did you know?" she was pointing her finger. Of course, that's how I knew it, because she had become completely identified with her function. So the role took her over - she couldn't leave her function behind after work. Even inside her family she behaved like a teacher.

Oprah: So that's the essence of this chapter. Of course, there are all roles that we are assigned and labels that we use to identify ourself. What you're saying is the problem is when you become completely identified with it, and you think that is who you are.

Tolle: Yes, and you behave and act as if that were who you are. So you get trapped inside that conditioned personality. And whatever you do it's the personality that's acting out.

Oprah: You mention in the book where you play the role of patient, and if you go to a doctor who's playing the role of doctor he often doesn't see you the person cuz he's playing the role.

Tolle: Yes, he becomes so identified with his function that the function has taken him over and it has become a role. And many patients can actually feel that when they go to a doctor, whether there's a human being still there or whether the doctor has become the role. And so when the doctor has become the role when you go to that doctor you don't feel acknowledged anymore in your beingness. He might be very competent as a doctor, but something vital is lacking in the interaction. He might be the greatest expert in his field - it still doesn't help - something very vital is missing.

Oprah: And that happened to me recently; where you feel completely dismissed and disconnected because you're thinking, 'he's just trying to get me out of here so he can get the next person in.'

Tolle: If he does that to you, you can imagine what he does to a normal person (he laughs).

SpineForce

First off I have to say Bravo! to blogger.com for automatically saving drafts. I thought I lost yesterday's post when Firefox blew up in my face.

Today I wanted to share something interesting. I had an appointment with my chiropractor to try out SpineForce. As the website states it's a "Revolutionary Technology for Strengthening and Conditioning the Deep Spinal Muscles." The good news is my insurance covers it, so I made an appointment for next week. Unfortunately my chiro wasn't in today, so his assistant gave me a little bit of an intro on how it works. I'll find out more next week.

Have a great day everyone!

Three words every woman wants to hear...

Chocolate Espresso Cheesecake!

My friends and I planned a mini-potluck so I baked this amazing cheesecake. I know very little about wines and cheeses, so I left that up to them. (I am interested in trying organic wine, so I'll have to buy a bottle or two for our next get-together. I'm wondering if less sulfites will mean less of a chance for a migraine. I drank very little, trying a few sips of white wine, a zinfandel and then red - making sure to drink a lot of water in between.)

I've really been enjoying Oprah and Eckhart Tolle's online class. Tonight's class will be discussing Chapter Three: The Core of Ego. But I wanted to share what one caller Victoria, from last week's webcast, spoke about (this is not a transcript but what I heard).

Victoria: I was diagnosed over 10 years ago with Systemic Lupus and RA, and I'd been a really active person. But two years ago I gave up my business, my health deteriorated, and I got an A-Ha moment in this book on page 51. I didn't realize that I had unconsciously clinged to my illness, and I'm taking this out of the book cuz I put it to myself, because it actually had become the most important part of who I perceived myself to be. How can I undo this identity? And how can I stay focused when I'm in excruciating pain from the illness to have the peace constantly, and not just fleeting moments?

Oprah: That's real.
Tolle: Yes
Oprah: That's a- That's real.

Tolle: Now the most important thing has already happened, which is you have become aware that up to now you had been identified with the idea that "I am sufferer of such and such an illness." So the illness had become thought forms in your head, and you had identified with these thought forms, and took them to be who you are. And now the most important thing - your question is still valid - but realize that the most important thing has already happened, which is the awareness has arisen so there's space now between yourself and your thought processes and the image of yourself as a sick person.

Now another thing of course in addition you can do is for example no longer talk about your illness to other people except when you visit a doctor. Then otherwise, the more you talk about it to your friends, acquaintances, family members, the more you keep that process going.

Oprah: ...empower it. She empowers the disease.

Tolle: Yes, that's right. So, if you just take a decision now that from now on I'm not going to talk about it, and if people ask me about my illness, which they're going to do because they're perhaps used to you talking about it...you say, "well I'm doing all I can to find healing in this, and I'm making good progress." Go as far as that, and don't encourage people to ask you questions, and no more mentioning my illness. So you begin on the external level not to talk about it anymore except of course when you need to talk to doctors. And that will have also certain influences on your thought processes. And then you can gradually also refrain from thinking of yourself as a sick person, and perhaps give less thought to your illness, and focus your attention more on well being.

Now you may ask, "well, but if I don't feel good, how can I give attention to well being?" You can still do that. One way is to see well being around you in nature because nature is just an embodiment of well being - a flower, a tree... And also there's well being even if certain parts of your body feel unwell or painful. And again we're coming back to the sensing the inner body, there are always parts of your body where you can still find well being; in your hands, your arms, wherever. Take some attention into the body and see where can I most strongly feel - get a sense of well being in the body, and then take your attention there. So you choose to direct attention to well being rather than dwelling on the idea of illness.

Oprah: That does not mean the pain's gonna go away cuz she said she has physical pain.

Tolle: The pain may still be there - that's fine. But as far as the pain is concerned...pain unfortunately requires surrender. You need to see that the pain is there so that you do not generate an additional level of psychological pain, which complains about being in physical pain. Because if the mind starts to complain about being in physical pain - you have two levels of pain: you have psychological pain and physical pain.

Oprah: Got it.

Tolle: Leave physical pain...with physical pain you know right now this is how it is. It's there.

Oprah: Don't resist it?

Tolle: Don't resist it. Do what you can as far as treatment goes, of course. But don't resist it. Don't create psychological pain on top of the physical pain.

Oprah: Are you following that, Victoria?

Victoria: Got it, yeah, excellent.