December 22, 2008

The Pursuit of Painlessness

Maybe you've been there: you hear a friend say, "I had the worst headache last night and I thought of you...I don't know how you do it." On the one hand you're grateful someone has walked in your shoes for a few hours. But then there's that sense of envy because you know their experience had a beginning, a middle, and an end. Where's our end?

If you're like me there never really is one. There's a lessening of pain for which I'm always grateful. But there is never a true end to it. So how does one go on, with a positive outlook, when they're faced with pain every day?

It isn't easy. You almost have to adopt a Pollyanna approach - finding the good in life, no matter the hardships. But thankfully there's something called empathy that sees you through. A friend, family member or co-worker can have sympathy for your situation, but it will always take someone who's truly been there to reassure you that you're going to be alright. They keep you going.

Sharing my experience with others, and learning from others who have been there inspires me to face every challenge life brings. And counting my blessings puts things in perspective. No matter how much I hurt, I know there's someone out there dealing with worse. Having a great sense of humor also helps. The ability to laugh at myself and my situation not only sees me through difficult times, it actually eases my pain.

Finding a hobby or something you're passionate about helps pass the time as well as get your mind off pain. I know people in pain who write, garden, volunteer, teach, sing, paint, create jewelery, show horses, etc. For some faith gets them through, for others it's music.

In the pursuit of painlessness I've learned the best thing is to stop pursuing. If I'm always striving to get to that place I'll miss out on the life that is happening right now.

6 comments:

beckiwithani said...

"No matter how much I hurt, I know there's someone out there dealing with worse."

This exact way of looking at things is one of the little mental tricks has helped me the most! It really could be so much worse, and for some, it sadly is.

Also on the "this has helped me" front, self-hypnosis ... I was never much of a non-Western-medicine type, but it's amazing how much migraines can open your mind to options. Self-hypnosis is what I use to get through the really awful ones. The feeling of bliss that comes from 100%, trancelike relaxation doesn't make chronic migraine worth it ... but it has been a nice discovery.

And one more thing - every single migraineur needs a friend who suffers too. One of my best friends has been through it all with me, and I have with her. I never have to act like things are okay around her if they aren't. When I"m with her, I don't have to downplay how often my head hurts (as I do with most others in my life.) She is a lifeline.

deborah said...

I know where you are! It's a miserable painful disease. Just when you feel a good day coming, the monster steals it all away from you. Sometimes it's so hard to keep that perspective when it gets so tough.

Live the good days when you have them; and to the absolute fullest. On the bad days, rest. Just rest. Well, when available anyway.

Hoping you are wsell

Ellen Schnakenberg said...

Nice post Jasmine. :) I guess I'm a rebellious pollyanna who does the horse thing, trying to be a good influence on kids who have Migraine as well. Kind of hits on lots of your points, lol!

Ellen
visit me at my WEGO Health Migraine blog

Jasmine said...

Thank you all for your support, advice and friendship :)

Megan Oltman said...

Hi Jasmine -
What a great reminder - this is it! This is our life, right now, and we need to enjoy it as much as we can. I need that reminder to see me through when the pain gets to me. Thanks!

- Megan

Jasmine said...

You're welcome Megan, and thanks for stopping by.