Inspiration?

I was calling it an early night when the hubby closed the bedroom door to talk. He told me he feared I was too consumed with my headaches and was in need of some inspiration.

He wanted to see a movie that would start at 11pm, and I declined, stating that if I wanted to assure a fun Saturday night I should diminish any possible triggers the night before (messing with sleep schedule, someone possibly wearing strong perfume/cologne in the movie theatre, flashing lights from the big screen, etc.). We would be visiting some friends the next day - driving two hours to Riverside to celebrate our friend's new job. If I had to take medicine Friday night, I would be setting myself up for rebound issues on Saturday.

All this internal thinking that seems commonplace to me caused the hubby to just stand there and blink. That's when he shut the door and lovingly gave me an assignment. He asked me to search the Internet for inspirational migraineurs - people suffering with migraines who don't let it consume them. He threw out the only person he knows, football great Terrell Davis, who had a migraine attack during Super Bowl XXXII.

As I'm sitting here with my assignment I'm feeling more down than before. I'm realizing I have to find a way to separate the Jasmine who is suffering during an attack from the Jasmine who is worried about the next attack (how to prevent it, how to prepare for it, how to treat it). I'm really not sure when the two became one. I still stand behind the notion that if I only experienced a few migraines attacks a month, I could easily dissect the two (I would have my life, and it would be occasionally interrupted by pain). BUT ever since the migraines transformed to a daily headache I've allowed the two to fuse together.

So, now what?