I was calling it an early night when the hubby closed the bedroom door to talk. He told me he feared I was too consumed with my headaches and was in need of some inspiration.
He wanted to see a movie that would start at 11pm, and I declined, stating that if I wanted to assure a fun Saturday night I should diminish any possible triggers the night before (messing with sleep schedule, someone possibly wearing strong perfume/cologne in the movie theatre, flashing lights from the big screen, etc.). We would be visiting some friends the next day - driving two hours to Riverside to celebrate our friend's new job. If I had to take medicine Friday night, I would be setting myself up for rebound issues on Saturday.
All this internal thinking that seems commonplace to me caused the hubby to just stand there and blink. That's when he shut the door and lovingly gave me an assignment. He asked me to search the Internet for inspirational migraineurs - people suffering with migraines who don't let it consume them. He threw out the only person he knows, football great Terrell Davis, who had a migraine attack during Super Bowl XXXII.
As I'm sitting here with my assignment I'm feeling more down than before. I'm realizing I have to find a way to separate the Jasmine who is suffering during an attack from the Jasmine who is worried about the next attack (how to prevent it, how to prepare for it, how to treat it). I'm really not sure when the two became one. I still stand behind the notion that if I only experienced a few migraines attacks a month, I could easily dissect the two (I would have my life, and it would be occasionally interrupted by pain). BUT ever since the migraines transformed to a daily headache I've allowed the two to fuse together.
So, now what?
4 hours ago
9 comments:
I truly think that is the single hardest aspect of coping with a chronic illness.
I can only speak to what I've found helpful and hope it might be helpful to you, too. Buddhists talk about separating pain from suffering. Reading about this let something click in my brain, and I realized that I don't have to be miserable like I had been for so long. That doesn't mean that I don't control my environment most of the time, but sometimes I don't, too. The point is that I view it as my choice.
I would recommend you read some of Pema Chodron's work. I find Byron Katie's thoughts inspirational, too.
Take care.
I've read a little of Pema's work but actually had never heard of Byron Katie. Wow, does she have a way of simplifying the shit that's been weighing me down. There are a lot of great examples on YouTube when I plugged her name in today. Thank you so much Diana for passing this info on to me!
I'd like to hear more about separating pain from suffering.
Awesome! I'm so glad to hear you are intrigued by Katie's work. I think there is such beauty in the simplicity and truth of her ideas.
For me, the best way to work on separating the pain from the suffering is to recognize the suffering as the part I can change. The pain will be there or it won't. It's nice when it's not, but when it is, that can be mostly okay, too. Part of how I've worked on separating out the suffering is through Katie's method of questioning and "turning it around". It seemed weird and hokey to me at first, but as I discovered how helpful it is, I stopped questioning it.
I'd start with her book Loving What Is. They probably have it at your local library or you can pick up a paperback copy for cheap.
If you'd like to continue talking about these ideas, I'm always game. :)
Hi Jasmine,
In the past I suffered with Migraines, TMD, back pain, etc... the list goes on.
2 things that changed my life
1) Alexander Technique
2) Deep Tissue Massage (the painful kind, not the feel good kind)
I encourage you to google "The Alexander Technique"
It's hard to put into words exactly what it is, and the full scope and implications of it's power. I will say this, it is not a therapy or a treatment.
It is a method which empowers the student to gain insight into the ways in which they use their body, in order that faulty patterns of movement, use, and balance may be confronted and replaced with more efficient, natural patterns of use.
For people who sit lots (especially in front of the computer) this technique is nearly a must in this day and age.
I Sincerely encourage you to look into it and if you can goto a teacher for a few lessons.
I tried many therapies and approaches to pain relief, not only was this one the most powerful, but it was the most em-powering. It's not just some therapist doing something to you, it's a teacher teaching you how to do something for yourself.
Sincerely,
John.
Thanks for your input John. I haven't tried Alexander Technique, and I'm wondering if it's similar to acupressure or trigger point therapy, which I have had (and yes both were painful).
Oops, I reread your comment and see you separated alexader technique from deep tissue massage, so obviously they're not the same thing =)
Thanks again,
Jasmine
Hi Jasmine,
What makes the Alexander Technique different is that it is not a therapy or a treatment (such as massage or accupressure, etc...).
It is not something that is done to you by a practitioner, it is something which you learn with the help of a teacher. Many muscians and writers study the technique due to long hours of repetitive movement, but it can really be applied to any physical task, movement, or activity (even just sitting and watching tv).
The technique helps to expand your awareness of balance and efficient movement in simple activities in day to day life. It also helps you to become more aware of your own faulty movement patterns and habits so that you may begin to replace them with more efficient and correct use of your body (which is something that your teacher helps you with).
It is not easy, but it is very powerful and for an enquiring and curious mind can be an extremely intersting journey.
The reason I originally began to study it was because i was having pain while playing the piano after about an hour, and I wanted to play for longer (ie 3 or 4 hours) but just couldnt due to the pain i was getting (specifically a pain in my mid back on the left side and a pain in the right side of my neck).
Being told by my piano teacher to "sit up straight" was simpply not cutting and it seemed like the hard er i tried to "sit up straight" the more pain i would get.
The alexander technique taught me to sit in effortless balanced, natural
Years of being told to "sit up straight" or "stand up straight" or "shoulders back" destroy our natural sense of balance and posture that we each have as children, the alexander technique helps us to re-discover a natural sense of effortless balance and movement in our day to day activities.
After only a few lessons I was beginning to identify (through the expansion of my awarenss of my own body and movement) my negative habits of movement at the piano which were causing my pain. I Within another few lessons I was playing with 99% less pain for much longer periods of time.
Here are a few brief descriptions which you may find interesting:
Many famous musicians, actors, athletes, writers, artists, etc... have studied the technique in order to overcome chronic pain and discomfort which was limiting their ability to pursue their work.
"The reason (the) Alexander Technique has such wide application is that at the root of much discomfort and pain lies a pattern of habitual tightening, of which we may be unaware. The misuse of ourselves is especially characterized by a tightening of the muscles in the neck and back, causing stiffening of the head on the spine. This tightening also blocks information regarding our sense of balance and interferes with our innate poise and movement. Over time we adapt to - and compensate for- the sensory misinformation conveyed by our habits and lack of self-awareness. We sometimes accept our misuse as normal, not realizing the extent to which we are contributing to our own physical discomfort and stress."
"The Alexander Technique is a method that works to change (movement) habits in our everyday activities. It is a simple and practical method for improving ease and freedom of movement, balance, support and coordination. The technique teaches the use of the appropriate amount of effort for a particular activity, giving you more energy for all your activities. It is not a series of treatments or exercises, but rather a reeducation of the mind and body. The Alexander Technique is a method which helps a person discover a new balance in the body by releasing unnecessary tension. It can be applied to sitting, lying down, standing, walking, lifting, and other daily activities..."
Hi Jasmine,
One more brief comment.
In the same way that some will study mental, psychological, or spiritual subjects or materials in order to expand their self awareness in the mental or psychological sense, this is what the alexander technique does in a physical Sense.
The Teacher helps the student to become more aware of his or her own physical self. And by expanding this awareness the student is able eventually to perceive the root causes of their physical problems.
And once the root causes of the physical problems are perceived, the student is then able to begin to work these problems out.
This may all sound very esoteric, but believe me it is not. It is very tactile and everything is experienced and felt in a very concrete manner.
Unfortunately it is very hard to describe, for the same reason that attempting to describe what something feels or tastes like to someone is nearly impossible.
With all your options for pain treatment, I sincerely encourage you to give the alexander technique some serious thought.
It is not a quick fix, it is a long term solution, but it has the potential to be life altering (which is why most of the teachers who teach it are former sufferers of chronic pain).
Take care of yourself.
Sincerley,
John
I found a couple specialists in town but there's no way I can afford the $65 charge per session (and something tells me I'll need many, many sessions). Maybe once the hubby is able to go back to work again.
But this will definitely be the next form of treatment try.
Thanks again for all the information guys and gals =)
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