Great customer service

I guess because I used to work in customer service I have an expectation of quality treatment. Recently I got my hair done at Robert Cromeans, an establishment I've visited multiple times and return at least once a month for a root touchup and healthy trim. Outside of the salon you can find lots of metered parking, but because my appointments tend to go over the 2-hour parking meter limit, I find it more relaxing to use the vallet service. For one thing, I tend to arrive early to like EVERYTHING, and I know a couple of the stylists so we gab and other times I just lose myself in a juicy magazine article. Moving on...

When the vallet brings my car I get in and notice the driver side rear view mirror is gone. Not the whole assembly, just the mirror plate itself. I asked the driver if he remembers seeing it and he said no, that's how it was when he brought it to me. I asked if it might have fallen off in the garage and he said he didn't notice anything when getting in the vehicle. He did give me the owner's number (I'll call him John) and I drove away.

At first I thought, no big deal. I'll call the dealership. It can't cost much to replace one mirror. Unfortunately they discontinued that part, and I would have to purchase the whole assembly for $123. I thought that was rediculous so I checked my old friend ebay. I found a company that distributes the whole assembly for $16.95 + $25 for insurance, s & h. I knew my husband could install it for me, so I put the order in.

Days go by and by this time I've left about five messages for the owner, letting him know about what dealership wanted to charge me and how I found a cheaper replacement. I'm fuming because I'm thinking okay, even if you don't want to cover this at least be a professional and call me back.

After a few days the vallet owner got back to me (turns out he was out of town, but his employees didn't know). After we discussed what happened, he offered to send me $25 and two free vallet tickets. He said he wants his customers' cars returned exactly the way they were brought in. Thank you John for taking the time to hear me out, for treating me with respect, and of course for the great customer service.

Pounding heart

I have to sing a solo today - kind of a test for voice class. I know the song well and perform it great on my own, but as soon as I want to volunteer to perform it in front of the class my heart starts pounding.

Last time I sang solo, half way through the song I started shaking so bad I could hear it in my voice. What happened was I was trying to be cool and make eye contact with people, but the more I did so the more I realized, 'oh my God, they're all watching me.' I was forgetting where in the song to breathe. It could have been better.

I think today, I'll just stare straight ahead or just make eye contact with the teacher. I mean she's really the one I need to impress because she's actually grading me. I need to not worry about anyone else's opinion, and just have fun up there. I mean, shit that's why I took the class in the first place. I love to sing and I know the more I perform in front of an audience the less frightening it will be.

I don't have issues with my pitch. I think my problem is, just as in life, I don't feel I have a true voice. Basically I've become so open-minded to everyone's opinions that I don't make choices. Our instructor says our performance comes down to the choices we make. And I feel that's true in life as well. I want to feel free when I sing in front of an audience. And part of that freedom is allowing my voice to come out.

There are some in the class who have no problem with this. There's one gal who's the extreme opposite, where it takes her friends standing beside her to get her to open up. Even though her voice is timid and squeeky she's up there conquering something. I respected how open she was to their help. If it were me, just as in life, I would say 'no, no, I've got this. I'm fine.' In other words, I don't need help.

Maybe that's why I spaz out when I ask my husband for his help and he doesn't fulfill. He just doesn't know how. Can I learn to ask from others, those who can and want to help? Or will I forever pretend that 'I've got this?'

I grew up in my own head - I realize now how dangerous a place that can be. So many thoughts cloud my inner voice. I've become wired to handle things on my own - to scrape up my own owwies and keep plugging away. I learned it from my mom. She was always willing to help friends (what few, scuzzy ones she had). I never once saw her ask for help. And I know what made her that way - her parents. They had two boys and they gave them anything they wanted. My mom had to work for everything she had without anyone's assistance. I saw that as courageous but now I realize how it can be a downfall.

Maybe my true voice is there, I'm just not confident enough yet to express it freely. Today I will work towards making the choice to love my voice and everything it represents.

Life's simple pleasures

I'm eating this toasted onion bagel with still-melting butter, listening to KSDS Jazz88 online and thinking, "Hello, these are examples of life's simple pleasures. You gotta write this shit down." And so I have.

Had Botox for the first time on Thursday. I lost count after my neurologist administered a dozen shots across my forehead and around my head. I'm mostly just sore now, and I feel a tightness/numbness when I raise my eyebrows. I can still feel my chronic headaches, but that's normal. I'll know in two to three weeks if the Botox will take away my head pain.

My finger tips are showing the consequence of guitar practice, but I couldn't be happier. Saw my teacher perform in concert, and when I said hello and showed him my toughened tips he felt them and said they're still soft. If only he felt them before I started his course. If he had he would have gasped and begged me to take a week off and rest my hardworking hands. Sorry, guess I'm still on an onion bagel high.

Awww shit

I had another one of those he-wants-nothing-to-do-with-me dreams. These really suck because I only have them when I'm feeling emotionally and physically neglected. It's like I don't need a reminder when I'm supposed to be getting rest.

These don't occur because I don't feel loved. I know he loves me. There's absolutely no question that he loves me. And I love him.

I've heard that you choose people in your life. Did I choose him because he matched a pattern my biodad stitched so many years ago? Does part of me feel a sense of comfort knowing when I reach out nothing or no one will reach back?

In the dream I'm usually all about finding him. I try to call him but I can't dial the numbers correctly. I see him in a room and go to him but he's engaged with others and can't break away to take my hand and leave. Shit this is really getting me down. But looking at the calender... guess what's right around the corner?

He's sleeping in right now. Part of me wants to go try again. To hold him and tell him how I feel, hoping this time it really registers what he's doing to me. But what if it's just hormones? Or me being selfish? I mean he does so much for me. He takes care of me, supports us financially while I'm getting my health figured out, he makes me laugh so much, and I still feel the sparks when we're hugging and I look into his eyes. Why can't that be enough? Fuck I'm crying... need to shower.