Hi, my name is Pain

"Hi, my name is Pain. Have we met?"

"Yes, we met once, but you never left."

"I'm confused."

"Then allow me to clarify. One day you showed up. And when I tried to close the door in your face you pushed your way in. To be polite, I gave you a few minutes to explain your visit. You spoke but I couldn't make out the words because something strange was happening to me. I showed you the door, but you just would not take a hint. When I asked you to leave me alone, you just laughed."

"Well I don't think that's very nice. You're not portraying me in a very positive light."

"You've got to be fucken kidding me. I mean, you're joking right? You've caused me nothing but pain and heartache, isolation and bitterness. What the fuck do you want from me? What have I ever done to you? When are you going to leave me the fuck alone so I can have my life back?"

"Honey, it's not up to me."

"........"

My brain hurts

Yesterday and today I've had a terrible hormonal migraine. So far the supplements and progesterone cream I've been on the past three months haven't done a thing to help my hormonal migraines. I'm waiting for another cycle to see if any change, and then going back to my Naturopath.

Next week I have a complimentary consultation with a surgeon. One of the procedures she performs is called Septoplasty; used to correct deviated septums. Perhaps my deviated septum, even though it isn't severe, is causing my daily head and sinus pressure.

Ugh, have you ever noticed how much worse abortive medications make you feel before they help lessen the pain? So, okay, there's a way for you to feel better, but first I'm going to need to slam this 2x4 into your temple. Don't get me wrong. I know there are countless migraineurs who have yet to find relief with any medication, so I shouldn't complain. But it is a crazy concept.

For anyone who may be reading this - you crazy, lucky few who haven't even experienced a headache, let alone a migraine - a migraine is actually a neurological disease. Many substitute the term headache for migraine, but headaches are just a symptom of migraines. It's like someone living with epilepsy. The seizure is actually a symptom of the disease.

I'll go into more when I'm feeling better. I also need to add some websites for information about migraines and support.

Mom's been in the hospital

Turns out the condition a few doctors insisted was 'just anxiety' was actually something called atrial flutter http://www.arrhythmia.org/general/whatis/fibflutter.html

She's been to the emergency room at least five times with this issue over the past few years and the stupid ass doctors either think she's drug seeking or she's crazy. I fucken hate doctors like this. I've delt with a few myself. For migraines, that's one thing, but for something as serious as someone's heart?!?!?! It just boils my blood.

Well the good news is she might get released today. Need to hop in the shower so I'll be good to go.

Classes have been chosen

If I did everything correctly online, I'm starting classes February 6th. I've chosen four classes (two necessary and two fun - at least I hope they're fun): basic musicianship, electronic music studio, classic guitar and beginning voice.

Will I be able to attend these classes consistently is the question. That and will I have to increase my medication consumption so I can function. Too bad I can't schedule my migraines.

Going Back To School

In the next 20 minutes or so I will be choosing the college classes I need. I'm excited and nervous because I haven't been to school in a few years. And because I'm a new student I'm worried the classes I need are no longer open.

I'm 31 and I have over 100 college units, but no degree. Maybe I have a problem with finishing things, but I tell myself the reason I quit was to improve my health. Migraines were getting so bad I could no longer work full time (in order to get medical benefits) and attend courses at night. Years later they became so debilitating I left the workplace.

My life continues to consist of researching new doctors and treatments. I keep holding out for this better life that's supposed to come after all my hard work has paid off. Unfortunately, in the meantime, I haven't been making much of a life for myself. Hence, going back to school to study something I actually love - Music.

Well, here goes nothing =)